About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
