i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
