somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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