I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
