Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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