It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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