I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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