Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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