If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize