Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
