I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
