It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
