as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
