NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize