haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize