I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize