I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
