And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
