every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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