a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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