it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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