i permit you to call me
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
