I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Randomize
