Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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