Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
