walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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