3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
