I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
