two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
