Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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