Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
