Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
