2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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