so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
