the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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