dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
