that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
