May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
