you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
