Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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