5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
