i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
So many bounce houses so little time
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
