I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
She bit a glass in half.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I think people are normalizing furries
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
