Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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