Me. At least after what I've been through.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
is wine microwaveable?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
