Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
