It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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