Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
