Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
