i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
