I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
