im gay
i know
yea but for you.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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