And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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