Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
