Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
