There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
