i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
