Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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