I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
