Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
