and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I'm passing your future prison.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
