oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
how does that bad decision feel?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
