He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
false alarm, still single
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
