I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
